Chapter Twelve: The Undeserving

Chapter Twelve: The Undeserving

Father God,

Seeing him on stage, knowing who he was and what he had done… It twisted me up in a way that I hadn’t expected. I always knew it was a possibility. And I told myself that I would be very… Christian about it.

I haven’t felt violent towards anyone in two hundred years. And if I’m honest, I think that the kind of anger I felt was very tame compared to the way I felt when I first heard about Nick. I didn’t understand why the rage caught me so unawares, until it hit me: I was a soldier too. I dropped bombs. On people. Whatever I’m feeling toward that man, someone in the world, probably more than a few someone’s would feel the same way toward me if they knew.

It all seemed so clean when I was up in the air. I was briefed on what was happening down on the ground, but I never saw any of it up close…

In the three weeks since Erica confessed she was leaving, things have improved with Megan. Getting Erica’s blessing to stay and be happy here has made all the difference. She still keeps some of her old habits, but I figure that’s just part of her personality now.

With Erica, something else is happening today. The convention is three days long. After the first day, she went completely opaque. It’s like she turned into a statue. I don’t know what to make of Erica, but she went quiet when she heard Nick talk about his former enemy, she just went… still. I don’t know what she’s thinking.

~~/*\~~

“Hugh?”

Hugh looked up from his journal entry. Megan was on the staircase. “Erica’s leaving.”

Hugh sighed. “Not forever.”

Megan nodded. “I know.” She sniffed. “Was it something I did?”

“Did you ask her?”

Megan nodded again. “She says… That she’s not needed here. She says that I have you and Kas now, and that if she stayed, it’d be harder.”

Hugh patted the couch next to him, and the girl came over. “You’re new at this, sweetie. Take it from someone who traveled the planet for over a century, and liked most everyone he’s met in his travels. You can still love people who aren’t there. I spent most of my friendship with Kas on a different continent, but we still talked every day, because we cared about each other. You can do that too.”

Megan looked unsure.

“Megan, you haven’t had a lot of people who showed you genuine love. As far as I know, all of them are under this roof right now.” Hugh told her. “But take it from someone who’s made a lot of friends over the passage of centuries. You can have loved ones all over the place. One day, when you get taller, you’ll want to go on a trip, see more of the world. And when you get wherever Erica is then, you two will no doubt tear up the town, and make Kas worry about you, and probably get away with heaven knows what.”

It had worked. Megan was smiling a little.

Hugh suddenly made the connection. “If it helps, I think she’s nervous too. Erica’s been really quiet today.”

Megan nodded. “I know. Erica doesn’t like it when people get away with doing bad stuff.”

Hugh sniffed. “I wasn’t wild about it either.”

Megan smiled a little. “I guess if anyone’s going to do anything real bad, they get stopped now, right?”

Hugh looked at her sideways. “How do you feel about that, sweetie? About the Angels… well, ending someone when they’re about to do something really bad to someone?”

Megan shrugged. “You should see what the cops did to some people around our Squat. Sometimes just for kicks. With the Wings, I don’t really have to worry about looking at them the wrong way, do I?”

“No, I guess not.” Hugh almost felt sick at the thought. His adopted daughter was so jaded when it came to violence and corruption, and she was only twelve years old. “This is a world where bad things can only happen to people who are really determined to be bad. I have to remember that too, because when I saw that man on stage today, I forgot that he wasn’t a bad guy any more.”

“Un-” She caught herself. “Nick seems to be okay with him being around.”

“Nick… is far more interested in the future than the past.” Hugh allowed, but inwardly he was pleased. Megan had just barely caught herself before saying the words ‘Uncle Nick’. “Anyway, we better get you back to bed. Day Two starts in less than ten hours.”

~~/*\~~

“How do you define a leader?” The Speaker asked the audience. “One thing, and one thing only: Followers. That’s all. It doesn’t matter if they are good, or bad. Honorable or treacherous. A leader of one or two people, or many nations. If someone is willing to go where you point them, to do as you say, to work for your approval, then you are their leader.”

There was a rumble of agreement.

“Now, consider the consequences of that: How many men have been crowned a king by their peers? These men did not rule in a vacuum. They had that power by the consent of those they governed. Oftentimes, they had things in place; like laws, guards and armies. Ask yourself, how many of their followers would do anything for their Kings? How many would rather die than let them down? And what is to happen when these people return to a world where they are no longer in charge?

“I myself was slain on a battlefield, in the Boer War. I began my tour fighting for my country, but by the end of my third week, I was fighting for my Captain. A man that I greatly admired, because he was experienced and patient and taught me a great deal. I did not survive that war, nor did he. He was, I am greatly sorry to say, not willing to accept the truth about the world. It hit me harder than anything the war could ever throw at me.”

A sympathetic murmur went through the audience.

“How many Captains are coming home to us? How many Mentors who carried us through hard times? We all have one hero now, one leader, one King, one Mentor. One who never has the wrong answer, or the wrong thinking on any subject.

“During yesterday’s program, we asked ourselves how we would treat those we once counted as our enemies. But now comes a far more difficult question: How do we treat the people who’s opinion mattered to us most? Not our 'holy men', or our Celebrities. The people we knew, and looked up to. The people that we most craved approval from?”

Hugh couldn’t help the look from Megan to Erica. Megan was glancing at Erica too, subconsciously. But the older girl was a million miles away. Something was on her mind. Something that had turned her face into a cold expressionless mask. She was holding onto Megan’s hand tightly.

~~/*\~~

Megan shuffled into the kitchen in her pajamas and socks that night. Kasumi was making hot chocolate. “You want to see if Erica’s still awake?” She asked the girl. “There’s enough to go around.”

“Erica’s gone.”

Kasumi twitched. “Gone?”

“She left tonight. She met some people who were going home after the International and she talked them into giving her a ride. She told me at lunch.” Megan nodded.

Kasumi felt her jaw drop. “She could have said something! We could have… I don’t know, helped her pack, given her some supplies… Said goodbye at least.” She whirled on Megan. “And you! You deserved a proper chance to say goodbye!”

“We had one.” Megan nodded, being very brave. “I knew it was coming. We agreed last night.” She held up a piece of folded paper. “She asked me to give this to you.”

Megan took her drink and left the room quietly. Kasumi bit her lip and took a deep breath, fortifying herself to read the letter.

~~/*\~~

Hugh and Kasumi-

In the Old Days, I never believed in angels. But I believed in Megan. She was my holy one, then. My name for love, trust, hope, faith. She was my angel. When the whole world views you as the refuse of the world, I can’t really express how much it means to have someone love you unconditionally. She was the only thing I ever tried my hand at that made me half-human. And I wasn’t very good at it, but that doesn’t make me any worse than I was.

Hugh and Kasumi… you’re her guardian angels now. I’m okay with that, because you’ll do a way better job than I ever could.

I understand why I was brought back. It wasn’t for my second chance, it was for Megan. Jehovah knew that she’d always have divided loyalties. I had to make sure you weren’t like any of the others that came before. I was brought back to tell her to settle with you, have a family, and a life.

When I was pregnant… I thought that if my baby could think at that point, then it literally had no idea there was a universe beyond me. Mother is the first name of god any of us believe in. Provider, protector, and home.

I had to stay until I was sure that this world wasn’t lying to Megan. And I had to make sure it deserved her. If I say goodbye now, you can probably guess what I decided.

Take care of my your daughter.

~~/*\~~

Every kind of vehicle that Erica had heard of, and more than a few that she hadn't was on the road. She couldn’t understand the sounds of the engines, and the road rules had apparently changed too, but it was easy to find someone with a truck going the same direction she was. Two or three passengers sat in the back of the truck, sharing life stories and experiences from the International.

Sitting closest to Erica was a boy about Megan’s Age. If he was with anyone, it wasn’t obvious. He had an electric guitar across his lap, and a bible balanced on one knee as he sat cross-legged.

Erica had prepared a few convenient fictions about herself if anyone tried to make conversation, which at this point she knew to be a near certainty, but nobody spoke to her. Or even looked at her. It felt like nobody knew she was there with them. She found it odd, but was grateful for it.

The Boy played his guitar, and wrote down some notes in the margins of his bible after he finished each riff. Erica looked over at the guitar. She'd never seen an electric guitar that sounded like that, or one that would work without an amplifier hooked up to it, but it was hardly the strangest thing she'd seen in the world. Hours passed this way, and Erica let herself drift a little, not thinking too closely about what was obviously on her mind.

The music was… powerful, almost dangerous. Erica closed her eyes and rocked with it for a while. She didn’t intend to, she just… got caught up in it. The Boy let the note fade and wrote something in the margins of his bible. “Why do the wicked live on?” He said suddenly, and for a kid who didn’t look older than twelve years old, his voice suddenly held such deep authority that it sent a thrill through Erica’s skin.

“What?” She croaked, a little derailed from her thoughts..

“Why do the wicked live on, grow old and become wealthy?” The boy repeated. “Their houses are secure, they are free from fear. And God does not punish them with his rod.”

“That’s my question.” Erica told him.

The Boy handed her the bible. He had been quoting scriptures almost word for word. “It’s not a new question. One that had an answer that the majority never heard. Those that had ears to hear, they heard. At last, nobody has to wonder why.”

“I still do.” Erica commented. The others in the truck hadn’t reacted to anything they’d said to each other, or the music. It was as though they hadn’t heard any of it.

“Hard to unlearn six thousand years of living in less than three hundred; and you’ve only been here a few weeks.” The Boy said lightly. “But when we blame God for things now? We’ve got the whole world to tell us what His way is all about. There are no homeless, or hungry. Nobody goes unloved or unwanted. Not even the lions will strike out at lonely little lambs any more. There are no predators, there are no prey. It was easy to believe there was no God when the world was out of control. But now the world is a fair and gentle place, and we can’t go ‘crying out Violence, and get no answer’. Cry out for help and there is Justice now.”

Erica chewed her lip. “Not sure I can take that chance.”

“For what it’s worth, you aren’t the only one thinking that way. At least for now.” The boy told her. “But that doesn’t mean you’ll always feel that way. Jehovah could have just put a stop to wickedness come A-Day. But He went one step further and undid it. The worst illnesses, the most painful losses, the most abusive wounds… All of them have been undone. Every victim returned, every repentant soul redeemed, every irretrievable villain removed. It’s still early days, but for once, for the first time, the world is actually getting better. Every day, getting better.”

“That’s the idea.” Erica nodded coolly. “Put the wrong things right.”

The Boy looked at her hard. “Erica, you don’t have to do this.”

The teenagers eyes flashed. “Did I tell you my name? Because I don’t believe I did.”

~~/*\~~

There was a knock at the door, and Hugh answered it it. “Isobel?” He smiled. “This is a nice surprise. What brings you by this time of night?”

Their old friend stepped inside. “I’m sorry about that, but I got caught up in some of the post-Centennial parties, and left my scheduled departure way too late. I’ve got a horse drawn cart, and in truth, I’d rather go tomorrow morning when the sun’s up. I’ve traded with half a dozen brothers for transport from the Dorms to the Station, and since most of them have luggage, I’ll need the cart; so my plans changed.”

“And with the Dorms packed to standing room only from all the Delegates…” Hugh summed up. “Yeah, you’re welcome to stay here tonight.”

“Thank you. I just need to get my horse settled for the night. I can sleep in the Wagon, obviously…”

“No, wouldn’t hear of it. As it happens, we’ve just discovered that we have a bed free tonight. Erica made other plans.”

Isobel’s eyes flicked to Megan, curled around her hot drink on the couch. It was clear there was a story to be told, but Isobel knew better than to bring it up in front of the child. “By the way, Megan; you have mail.” Isobel changed the subject, producing a letter like a conjuring trick.

Megan was surprised. “Really? I only know three people. Who’s sending me mail?”

Isobel shrugged. “No return on it. I don’t usually deliver letters, but I came across it when it was on it’s way to the Trading Post; and since I was on the way here for-”

“WHAT?!” Megan blurted, suddenly explosive.

Isobel jumped at the girl’s temper. “I was… I was coming over anyway, and-”

“Not that!” Megan almost charged her. “The letter you have for me was on its way to the Trading Post, but it was addressed to me. Which means if anyone other than you picked it up, I wouldn’t get it for a few days, right?”

“I like to think they’d get it to you a little faster than that, but-”

Megan snatched the letter before Isobel could say another word. Hugh and Kasumi came over to join their daughter, reading her sudden fury. “It’s from Erica, isn’t it? We knew she was going to leave-”

“She said goodbye to me in person.” Megan said sharply, ripping the envelope open. “So why did she send me a letter already?” She read the letter for less than two seconds before she went pale. A moment later she ran to the Terminal and started pushing buttons. “How do you check for- oh, ThereItIs!”

Hugh came around quickly. Megan had called up the last search. It was a digital version of The Tree. “Erica looked up someone?”

Megan pointed at the screen. “Where is that? That address? Where is it?” She was going crazy, wringing her hands, bouncing up and down on her toes.

Kasumi had joined them. “Uh… the Michigan Region? Maybe ten hours away if you have transport?”

“Three hours if you take the train.” Isobel put in.

“She didn’t take the train.” Megan shook her head. “Hugh? That plane of yours… It works now, right?”

Hugh and Kasumi looked at each other in alarm. “Yes.”

Megan jumped up and grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the door. “Come on! Now! Right now! We gotta get there before her and she has a six hour head start!”

~~/*\~~

“You are new.” The Boy said firmly. “There are no Wicked any more.”

“Yes there are. Your Guy brings back twenty thousand a day.”

“Twenty thousand people get a fresh start every day. How many of them are only too happy to leave their rage and misery and grief behind?” The Boy challenged. “You grew up in a world where thieves got rich and heroes got torn down. Back there and back then, even in your way; we had only faith to hold onto. A lot of people tried to wrap all their bad days in dogma and tell themselves that God did it for a reason, like there’s an upside to a train wreck or an earthquake.”

Erica snorted. “That sounded stupid to me even when I didn’t know better. If I’m honest, it was just easier to believe He was a fairy tale. And I heard plenty of them.” She checked her device and compared it to her map, before slapping a hand on the window to the driver’s cab. “I wanna get off here!” She called.

~~/*\~~

Hugh and Megan had taken the plane down the road as a runway. Isobel had taken one of her horses and ridden ahead to make sure the road was clear until they took off. At night, there wasn’t nearly so much traffic in the air. Megan had dressed once they were flying, unwilling to delay takeoff long enough for her to change clothes.

“Can we go any faster?” Megan asked, still wringing her hands crazily.

“This is as fast as we can go in a plane like this.” Hugh promised; just as his phone rang. He answered it. “Hello?”

“How’s it going?” Kasumi asked. “Everything… staying in the air?”

“This is not the kind of Maiden Flight I had planned.” Hugh said under his breath.

“Desperate Times, my love.” Kasumi said quietly. “I’ll call… whoever it is you call for this kind of thing.”

“Call Judge Simpson. He’ll know who to contact in the local area.” Hugh told her. “But if Megan’s right, then having other people show up might force Erica to make a move. Megan has a better chance of walking this back than anyone.”

“I know.” Kasumi whispered. “I’ll be praying. Love you.”

“Love you too.” He hung up the call. “Last time I was in a crate like this, we barely had working radios.”

Megan bit her lip. “I probably should have asked this sooner, but… You can fly one of these at night, can't you?”

Hugh smirked grimly. “Kid, I flew one of these crates on over two dozen missions, more than half of them in the dark, with the lights off, and the radio’s silent the whole way… I never landed solo, of course, but I’ve spent a lot of time telling flight students that there’s nothing left to be scared of.” He glanced over at her terrified face. “Well, not from gravity, anyway.”

~~/*\~~

The Boy had stayed with the truck when Erica jumped out and went her own way on foot, but she wasn’t a bit surprised to suddenly find him right there, keeping pace with her.

“You spent a lot of time scraping together enough hope to keep Megan going.” The Boy said seriously. “Remember?”

“I remember.” Erica grit her teeth. “Thank you for confirming that you sat back and watched that too. I’m supposed to be okay with it now? You did nothing. The whole way through, you did nothing.”

“Look around the world now, Erica. He did everything.” The Boy held out a hand to her, and she brushed him off. “You’ve sat in on the lessons, and you can tell everyone you weren’t listening, but you were, and He knows it. It had to play out, to make exactly this point. Now the world is putting their Trust in the right place at last, and look at what’s happening. And for all the hurt and grief you went through to make that point; He’s making it up to you a hundred fold.” He spoke intensely. “Megan is safe, Erica. You spent two years shrugging off your every moment of misery just to keep Megan going; and now the only thing that can break her heart tonight is you.”

Erica spun to look at him finally, enraged. “Some People Don’t Deserve A Second Chance!”

But The Boy had vanished into thin air.

~~/*\~~

“Is that it?” Megan demanded, checking her map against the dark fields below.

“That’s it.” Hugh nodded, looking at his instruments. “Now we just have to figure out where to land this thing.”

~~/*\~~

When the house had become visible, Erica froze for a moment, before she squared her shoulders. Head down, eyes blazing, Erica stormed the last few feet, kicked the dust from the long path off her shoes, and rapped on the door. After a few minutes, the lights inside switched on and the door opened. He was younger than she remembered.

“Erica.” He breathed in disbelief.

Erica let the breath out slowly, cool as ice. “Hello, daddy. It’s been a while.”

~~/*\~~

“Okay, I got good news and bad news.” Kasumi told them over the phone. “The bad news is that Dexter Knowles lives in a fairly isolated part of the area. The Local Cong have got people on the way, but you’ll probably beat them there.”

“What’s the good news?”

“The good news is that the isolation works for you. Plenty of wide open country, so you’ll be able to land anywhere you like.”

“Park us right on his doorstep if you can.” Megan told him, a bundle of nerves.

~~/*\~~

“You look good.” Erica observed as the door shut behind her, looking for a lock that wasn't there.

“Thanks. Ten years of healthy living.” Dexter nodded, nervously taking a breath.

Erica looked around the small, neat house. “Cleaner than any place you’ve ever lived. Is Norah here with you, then?”

“No, she… uh… All marriage contracts were declared void for Resurrected ones.” Dexter explained. “And I don’t blame her for wanting out. I haven’t actually spoken to her in a while.” He looked at her carefully. “You look good too. I mean, since the last time we… spoke.”

“Yeah, I healed up pretty good.” Erica said coolly. “I woke up here and had my full range of vision back; nose was straight for the first time in years, shoulder didn't hurt any more...” She could hear what sounded like a propeller plane in the distance.

Dexter winced painfully. “I saw the notice that you were back. I searched your name in the Database every day.”

“Why?” She said archly.

He held his hands up. “Because I wanted to make it right. If it’s not too late for an apology-”

Erica held a hand up. “We’re not there yet, old man.”

Dexter nodded, looking down. “I know. But I’ve thought about nothing else since I came back. They told me that the wages sin paid was death. That’s a direct bible quote. And since I died, my penalty was paid. It’s like serving your sentence and getting released from prison… But it doesn’t help with… regret.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“I’d be gobsmacked if you did.” He admitted. “There’s no excuse for violence, Erica. I came up with all sorts of excuses back in the day, but… Coming back from the dead and confessing to an actual, bonafide Angel… You get a pretty good grip on where you’ve made your mistakes, you know?”

Erica scowled at him. “You’re my father. You were supposed to fight for me. You were supposed to protect me from guys like you.”

“I know.” Dexter had tears in his eyes. “I don’t know if I was sick in the head, or raised wrong, or if the booze brought it out in me… But for what it’s worth, if I was actually unbalanced, then that’s fixed now. If it was my circumstances, those are changed too, and I haven’t touched a drop in ten years, not even in moderation.”

“And that’s supposed to make me forgive you? Regret isn’t a &*#$%! Time Machine, pop.” Erica swore. “You have any idea what I went through after I left? And I went through it all, knowing that it was still better than going home!”

“Do you hear me asking for forgiveness? I’m in the wrong here. I couldn’t face up to that then, but that was three centuries ago. Parenthood is a task that does not come naturally to everyone. Most people try to muddle their way through, and I failed...” Her father whispered. “I can’t defend it. All I can do is tell you that the man I was is long dead. Literally, he died centuries ago. I can show you the headstone.”

Erica scoffed. “There was a time I wanted that so badly. Then I found out it happened and I sobbed for a whole day.” She set her jaw. “But I slept better that night on the floor of a subway car than I ever did at home. I was finally free of you! I was finally out! You had finally done it to yourself, as I knew you would!”

“For what it’s worth, I was sober that night.” Dexter offered. “I slipped on my own apartment steps, broke my neck. I barely knew I was falling before I woke up here.”

“Quick and easy clean slate and eternal life. How… typical.” She rubbed her eyes. The engine was getting louder. She peeked out the window, pacing the room. There was a plane coming. A plane she recognized. “Dammit, Megan...” She sighed under her breath. She turned back to him. “Feel like a cup of coffee?”

“Sure. A few volts of caffeine is just what I need right now.” He said dryly and led the way into the kitchen. He didn't see it, but once he left the room, Erica took a chair and forced it against his front door, barring it shut. “That plane must be heading for Delaware. I haven’t heard one flying at this time of night since…”

The sound of the engine roared outside, and they both felt the air thump against the walls as the plane landed, close enough that the windows shook for a moment. Dexter spun around. “What is… that…” He was caught off guard by the sight of his daughter blocking the way to the door, and a large knife from his own knife-rack in her hand.

~~/*\~~

The engines hadn’t even stopped before Megan was climbing out the hatch, running for the door. “Erica!” She shouted. “Erica!” She reached the door, and bounced right off it. “I thought nobody locked their doors any more?!” She raged as Hugh shut down the engines and came running up behind her.

~~/*\~~

“Erica, think this through…” Dexter said, aghast as loud knocking rang out from the front door again. “I don’t know how much you know about the rules now, but… I don’t blame you for wanting to get even.”

“No, I don’t want to get even.” Erica growled. “I want to hear you beg for mercy, the way...” She stopped, leaving that unsaid. “But you won’t, will you?” She searched his face. “Why the hell aren’t you scared?! You think I’m bluffing?!”

“I know you aren’t.” Her father said immediately. “But, Erica… Nobody in the world has landed a punch in three hundred years, let alone... Think about that for a second. I am very scared right now… but not of what’s going to happen to me.”

“Just like most conversations we've had.” Erica snarled.

There was a sound of glass breaking in the next room and quick footsteps in a tread that she recognized. “Erica!” Megan howled.

“Stay back!” Erica roared at the younger girl. “Stay outta this, Megan. Just turn around and walk away, right now!”

“We can’t do that.” Hugh said, holding Megan tightly before she dove on the knife.

“They’ll stop you, Erica!” Megan shouted. “The Wings are gonna stop you! You’ve heard the same news I have! They don’t let anyone try anything like this! You won’t get there, and they’ll stop you!”

Erica chewed her lip.

“I know you don’t believe it-” Hugh began.

“I do.” Erica admitted quietly, eyes not leaving her father.

“Then put down the knife!” Megan begged. “Please, don’t leave me again!”

“You don’t need me to be your mom anymore.” Erica told her. “You've got a better one now.”

“What about my friend?” Megan demanded. “Hugh and Kas have friends that they’ve had for centuries. I want that. I want that to be you!” Tears were streaming down her face. “You can’t do it. Even if you tried, you couldn’t do it!”

“WHY NOT?!” Erica erupted hotly. “Because God’s all about Justice, right? This is justice!”

“I bet everyone who ever grabbed a knife thought the same.” Hugh said gently. “Erica, it’s not weakness to be merciful. You won’t get there. You’re betting that God thinks the same way you do, but you won't get there, and if you put it down you can live forever.”

“You’ve had to be smart your whole life. Do the smart thing.” Megan insisted.

Erica’s eyes flicked to Megan, back to her father, wavering just a little.

“Please.” Megan whispered. “You take care of me, Erica. You always take care of me. I need you to do one last thing for me now. Do this one last thing and I won’t ever ask you for anything else. I won't even cry when you leave, I promise, just do this one last thing! Please. For me?”

The whole room hung, frozen at the point of action. Everyone in the room was poised, reaching for each other, holding their breath.

Erica sniffed… and then finally smiled. “I love you, Megan...” She said calmly, suddenly at peace. “...but some people just don’t deserve a second chance.”

Erica lunged for her father, the knife coming up faster than Hugh or Dexter or anyone could try to stop her-

-for a split second, there was a flash of light and movement, the vaguest hint of a humanoid shape suddenly appearing, coming into contact with the murderous young woman-

-and then Erica dropped, like a puppet with cut strings, falling lifelessly to the floor.

~~/*\~~

Megan didn’t say a word for the rest of the night. After a few minutes, she didn’t even cry. She just withdrew completely into herself.

More people arrived later, from the local congregation. It was the middle of the night, but everyone was up and on duty. But there wasn’t anything for them to do except clean up.

Megan didn’t answer any questions, but she didn’t have to. There was no mystery to be solved.

Hugh and Dexter told the local Judge everything that happened when they got back to his office in the local Congregation Center, first one and then the other.

~~/*\~~

Dexter came out and froze when he saw Megan sitting on the floor across from the office door, arms wrapped around her knees. She looked up at him, expressionless.

“Your, um… Your father will be done in a few minutes.” Dexter offered.

Megan said nothing.

The older man argued with himself for a long moment and tried again. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Megan spoke quietly at last. “She told me what you did. But she never told me your name.”

“Dex.” He said awkwardly. “My name is Dexter Knowles.”

Megan nodded. “I know you’re sorry. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here.” She said, with an expression made of stone. “The way I figure it, I have to be nice, but we don’t have to be pals, do we?”

“Plenty of people in the world I’ve never met.” Dexter offered.

Megan nodded. “Then maybe we can never see each other again?”

Dexter nodded, mournfully. “I understand.”

~~/*\~~

Judge Simpson arrived a few hours later, and Hugh poured out the whole story again to a man that had been an elder in his congregation for decades.

“So it wasn’t just a moment of anger? This was premeditated?” Simpson made sure.

“She had to travel half a day to get to him, and she looked him up last night. She had the door locked behind her and she’d sent a letter to Megan. If it had arrived two days from now like Erica planned, we never would have known it was happening.” Hugh sighed, beyond exhausted. He hadn't felt this kind of bone-weariness since OS. “What a nightmare.”

“She made her choice, Hugh.” Simpson offered.

“Yeah, but…” Hugh wanted to scream from the frustration. “I really thought she was getting better. I really thought… I can’t help but think that if we’d seen it sooner, we could have-”

“Hugh, Desire turns into sin, and sin brings forth death.” The Judge sighed. “She wanted revenge more than she wanted eternal life. I don’t know if she was hoping that God would agree with her, or if she just didn’t care, but if she was acting in ignorance, my sense is that she would have been stopped, but she would have been given leniency. She had to know what she was doing. Nobody dies by accident any more. It’s always about choice. This was her choice.”

Hugh looked sick. “And how do I explain that to Megan? Erica was practically her mom.”

Carl sighed. “How do I explain it to Dexter Knowles? Erica was his daughter.”

~~/*\~~

Father God,

We’ve been home less than eight hours and Megan ran away again. First time in months. I don’t know where she went. I went to Erica’s Tribute, now a headstone again. She wasn’t there.

I almost wish she would cry, or scream, or smash something. But instead she’s just… withdrawn. She’s worse than she was when she first arrived. It’s the worst setback that anyone could have given her.

And the worst part is… part of me agrees. Erica made her choice, but it’s so much easier to sympathize with her than with her father. Did it really have to go that way? Obviously, You know better than I do, but I swear, there was still hope for Erica. More than I would have-

~~/*\~~

Hugh looked up when the door opened. Megan was coming back in. She saw him waiting up for her and froze, halfway through the door, before she sighed and came in, closing the door behind her.

For a long moment, they stared at each other.

“We aren’t that different, me and her.” Megan said finally. “You think I didn’t want to kill him too?”

“The difference is, you didn’t plan out and then carry out a way to do it.” Hugh reminded her.

“Because I knew what would happen. What did happen. I knew she’d never get the chance. Violence is not allowed here. The Wings wouldn’t let me take a bicycle. I knew what they would do for this.”

“Is that the only reason?” Hugh asked, suddenly sad.

Megan blinked. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, you knew that she wouldn’t succeed, and you were begging her to hold back before… Well, before. But if you could have gotten away with it? If they hadn’t stopped you? Would you have done it?”

His adopted daughter said nothing.

“Is the only reason you’re being so peaceable and gentle… Because you’re too scared to seek revenge of your own?” Hugh pressed. “Answer me. Would you have tried to stop her if you thought she could get away with it?” It was a cold, harsh question, made all the worse by the fact that he was asking a little kid.

Megan’s eyes were red. “Erica was nice to me. My whole life, she was the only person who was ever nice to me.” She looked up. “Well, till you and Kas.”

“I know.”

“I’m twelve years old, dad. I just want to be a little kid and have someone be nice to me. Is that so much to ask?! My whole life I was praying for that! Was it so much to ask of God? Was it so much to ask of her?!”

Hugh felt himself tearing up. “First time you’ve called me ‘dad’.”

Megan was silent for a few seconds before she exploded. “SHE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL!” She nearly screamed. “You have any idea how often we both wished we had some tiny part of what we have here?! I was flat out begging her to just... But she was so stuck on how it used to be…”

“I know.” Hugh pulled her into a tight hug. For once, she didn’t push him away. “I know, daughter.”

~~/*\~~

“She doesn’t know who’s side she’s on.” Kasumi was sitting up in bed, wide awake as Hugh came into their bedroom. Megan was tucked in for the night, but nobody was sleeping. “It’s not a question of belief. She feels like she’s betraying Erica.”

“Erica was the one person who never let her down, to the point where she was willing to follow Erica into Hell, because that’s where she thought they might both be going.” Hugh sighed. “And now Erica’s the one that let her down, and the people she vowed she couldn’t trust are the ones she can hold onto forever. Literally, forever. Megan’s messed up because the rules of her universe just got turned on their head, again. For a twelve year old, there's only so many times you can stand that.”

“I wonder what Knowles is thinking right now.” Kasumi sighed. “The mortal fear of a Witness is that we’ll do something to drive someone away from God. Erica was his daughter. I’m not excusing anything he did, but...”

“I know.” Hugh sighed. “But we have to think about our kid right now.”

“So what do we do?” Kasumi asked helplessly. “Because this is either going to make her desperate for something to hold onto, or make her desperate to avoid contact with anyone ever again. I can’t imagine there’ll be anything in between. What do we do?”

“What we were always going to do. We give her unconditional love until she stops looking for the conditions. After this, it’ll take years. Maybe decades. But the world is a patient place now, and-”

Knock knock. Megan put her head around the door. “Hi.”

“Hi, sweetheart. What do you need?” Kasumi answered her.

Megan’s eyes were red. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Kasumi almost smiled in relief, holding out her arms to the girl. “Oh, Honey; of course you can.”