After so long trying, Walter was forced to admit that he had failed. His businesses had never grown beyond the local level, and his idea for Competitions and Tournaments had failed miserably.
But Walter’s life hadn’t been changed by any of it. He’d seen the journey his contemporaries had taken in the old days, from Rags to Riches, and back to Rags again. He’d seen when someone like him had gone from a mansion to a hovel. What he’d been living in was better than that, but it was never going to be a mansion.
“And the truly gut-wrenching thing?” He’d confessed to David one night. “I take a look at how much time and money and effort I’ve invested in these things. If I’d saved it all up for now...”
“You might yet have had that mansion?” David quipped, unsurprised. “Come on. Let’s go to the meeting.”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“I know. That’s why you should go.”
~oo00oo~
And so, Walter found himself in the audience of a Christian meeting, once again, listening to commentary on Bible Passages. This world had a four volume Bible instead of two. The Witnesses were the only religion he’d heard of that valued audience participation to such a degree; and yet Walter would confess to only half-hearing it, until the speaker said the magic words.
“It was a great deal of money.” The Speaker said. “That is why the Kingdom of the heavens may be likened to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. When he started to settle them, a man was brought in who owed him 10,000 talents. But because he did not have the means to pay it back, his master ordered him and his wife and his children and all the things he owned to be sold and payment to be made. So the slave fell down and did obeisance to him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay back everything to you.’ Moved with pity at this, the master of that slave let him off and canceled his debt.” The Speaker looked up from his Bible. “Now, that amount of money was more than a working man of the time could see in thousands of lifetimes. And the Master just forgave it. Like it was nothing to him. But that’s not the end of the story. You see, this slave had debts to collect also. We read on, and find out that this slave knew a man who owed him much less… And tore him apart when he couldn’t repay it.”
Walter winced. He’d had people who owed him and his company more than they’d ever hope to see in their lifetime.
“What we owe to a perfect God who has given us eternal life is a billion times more than anything we could owe to small, still-imperfect creatures like each other.”
Was this deliberate? Walter asked himself. Did David know what they were going to be talking about?
“But here in this world, where money is no longer an issue; the parable takes on a whole new meaning. The important point of that Parable was how easily the kind Master forgave the enormous debt, and how angry he was that his servants couldn’t extend that same forgiveness to others. A debt of ten thousand Talents would take a thousand lifetimes to repay. But remember the Source. Jesus knew this world was coming. A world where people would live forever. If you had a marker for that much crippling debt today, would you forgive it, or would you live happily in the knowledge that your debtors would be able to work for a thousand lifetimes to repay you? Jesus knew this world was coming. Did he ever promise to make you work off your sins for eternity? Did he ever suggest that God was keeping a Ledger of everything we owe to him due to the sins we committed? No. He just forgave us.”
David didn’t even have to look. Walter was already walking out.
“Jesus closed that Parable by saying: ‘My heavenly Father will also deal with you in the same way if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart’.”
Saying a quick prayer, David started to rise, but felt a hand pulling him back into his seat. His father gave him a look, and went after Walter himself.
~oo00oo~
There was always foot traffic outside a Conference Centre now. It was the central part of any community. But the people walking past were careful not to disturb whichever congregation was using the space. There were meetings running every night.
Walter had stepped out, and wandered through the lobby to get some air. Hitch followed, staying a respectful distance away, letting the younger man with pale grey hair gather his thoughts.
Walter turned back, not surprised to see him there, and scowled. “I just figured something out.” He explained. “And it frustrates me.”
“Dare I ask?”
“I haven’t forgiven any debt.” Walter admitted. “All this time, I assumed the problem with my business was that nobody wanted to work with someone who wasn’t ‘one of you’, but the real reason is that everyone else keeps an accounting of what is owed… But nobody demands it back. Because it will come with time. Nobody charges interest on what they offer others anymore; because the whole point of the world is to give free.”
“Yes.” Hitch nodded.
“But that only works if everyone plays by that rule!” Walter raged.
“Everyone does.” Hitch nodded plainly. “David and I have been waiting for you to notice, but the whole point of a utopia is that everyone has what they need, and that what they want should only be what’s good for everyone.”
Walter sighed hard. “Doesn’t. Make. Sense.”
“You’re the only one around who thinks so.” Hitch sighed. “You aren’t there yet.” He said regretfully. “You’re running out of time. I had hoped that by now you would have opened your eyes and seen the world for what it was. The only thing stopping this from happening is you, Walter.”
“Then why do you keep coming back for more? You or David?” Walter asked in a very brittle voice. “You’re not responsible for me.”
“No, we’re not. But we’re hardly the only people speaking to you about this.” Hitch shrugged. “I come back for more, because I am a servant here. And it is a very patient cause to be in service to. Noah was telling the world that the Flood was coming, and after decades of telling people to be ready, not one of them went into the Ark. Not one. After decades. I’m pleading for your life, and you won’t listen.”
“I’m listening. You’re just not making sense.” Walter bunched his fists, hard enough to feel his fingernails cutting into his palms. “I’m not wrong.” He insisted hotly. “I know what I’m doing, and if this world would just see sense for five minutes, I’d have what I needed; and be able to do what you’ve all been telling me to do for… I can’t even remember how long anymore.”
“Yeah. It’s easy to lose track of time when nobody ages around you.” Hitch sighed. "One every ninety seconds. "
"I'm sorry?"
"I did the math once; when I was a far younger man. I wanted this world to come sooner. I wanted to stop... the fear. I wanted to be in this world where I wasn't scared for my kid, and where my wife would come back, and I'd see her again. I found myself getting angry about it. After a bad week in the ministry, I found myself hating the whole wait. I wanted to get here. It felt like keeping the Old Days going even a minute longer was just cruel to us who were waiting, being faithful."
"And?"
"I did the math on it. When the world was at its worst, there were hundreds of thousands of new brothers per year. One of a very few religions where the numbers were going up instead of collapsing. It shook out to a new brother in the world every minute and a half. As bad as my day was, if I held out another minute, someone would gain eternal life, and be part of my family."
Walter said nothing.
Hitch just looked at him. "It's not like the old days. The only people hurting now are the people like you. The Undecided. The world is going through a Second Revelation. Every single person in the world has had to take a long hard look at what they believe, and make a choice. Every. Single. Person. There's no pretending that 'There Is No God' or that something else is more important, or any of the things people told themselves back in OS. Back then, I couldn't change anyone's mind. All I could do was tell them what I knew of the Truth, and help them look on their own. And here in this world, that's still all I can do. Twenty thousand a day come back. How many become part of my family per minute? How many gain eternal life every ninety seconds now?"
Walter said nothing.
“The worst part is... I can see you finding a place in this world so easily.” Hitch sighed. “When you first got here, you organized kids into mowing lawns and helping out. You found them regular customers, and paid the young ones a wage. That’s still going without you. The kids in your old Circuit? They’re building arcades, skate parks... Their parents are thrilled to have kids learning about sharing and improving community spaces. Those Co-ops you put together? You launched a few careers. A lot of people wanted to make their living with writing, or singing, or painting... You got that going for a dozen people, and you walked away because your cut wasn't big enough. But you have a talent for it; you really do."
Hitch went back into the Meeting Hall. Walter stood at the doorway, glowering at nothing. He almost didn’t notice another man walking past him. The other man was wearing a tri-corner hat, straight out of a pirate movie. For a moment, they regarded each other. The only two men with grey hair and wrinkles for a hundred miles.
Nothing was said, but Walter turned to walk away from the Hall quickly. Unable to meet his gaze, James went inside, sweeping his hat off.
~oo00oo~
James and Atxi had agreed to meet at a Meeting Hall. Attending the current Meeting was not a hardship for them. Even after decades of avoiding The Choice, they had both been to many such gatherings over the years.
The talk hadn’t finished by the time James came in. “Jesus was once asked: ‘How many times should I forgive my Brother?’ and he essentially said that it should be as many times as requested.” The Brother on stage continued. “God gives repentant ones his forgiveness freely, regardless of how often, or how large the debt.”
James noted he was getting some long looks. His age was making him stand out. It made Atxi stand out too. He scanned the audience, and quickly spotted Axti, sitting near the back. The only pale grey head of hair in the whole auditorium.
“That forgiveness is something we all need, and it is an act of love. You’ve heard it many times: God Is Love. Look around, and this whole world is a sign of it. Almost all of us had lives in OS. That world was all about Greed and Cruelty. And these are the properties and behaviors of The Other Guy. The Devil ran the last world; which is why it reflected his personality. Anger, Selfishness, and a complete opposition to God. Scripture referred to Satan as ‘A Roaring Lion, seeking to devour someone.’ Nobody can deny he had power to control the world. Jehovah, by contrast, is described in the Bible as ‘The Happy God’.”
James circled around behind Atxi. They were meant to meet here, simply as a rendezvous, but she was listening with close attention, as interested as everyone else.
“What defines Jehovah’s Rule is not His power. What defines a world ruled by Jehovah God is his Love. Power is nothing compared to that. We’ve seen what happens when supernatural power rules the world according to anger. A God without Love is Satan.”
Atxi shivered as she felt someone leaning a lot closer. “Interesting thought.”
“Yeah.” She smiled at bit at James’ voice in her ear. “We should go.”
~oo00oo~
They returned to the Nicholas and set sail. The minute they were out of the dock, Atzi spun around and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He returned it, burying his face in her silver hair. “I know we’ve forgiven each other, but after that talk, I want to say it again. I hate fighting with you.” She said softly. “We’ve only fought seriously once, and I didn’t like it at all.”
“Nor me, luv.” James agreed immediately as he set the controls, taking them out to sea.
“I was a pirate.” James said quietly as the ship rocked. “You have any idea how many people I killed in my career? At least a dozen ships; and they all fought to stop me. My last act in the Old World was to kill one of my own. They’re all back. None of it meant a thing. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? They’re so willing to forgive each other. If I went back and set that whole Centre on fire, what are the odds they’d apologize to me for having such a flammable meeting place?”
“Are you angry that they’re not trying to hang you?” Atxi asked, perturbed.
“I drew a sword on my best friend. That should matter!” James insisted.
Heavy silence.
“The worst part is…” James said finally. “I was so glad to see him. My worst sin, brought to nothing. My worst guilt, and it turned out to be fixed, without my ever knowing it.”
“On the Island, there’s a constant struggle to keep the different factions from killing each other.” Atxi observed. “I come back here, and there’s no… anything. No old rivalries, no old grudges. They just… make it work. I feel like I’m seeing a side-by-side comparison.”
“You are.” James admitted. “And I admit, the world outside the Undecided is… better. I’ve been sailing from one end of the world to the other, and I’ve yet to see a storm. I’ve walked into a hundred different communities, and they’ve all had a meal and a bed waiting before I can tell them my name.”
“Hans is barely keeping the Undecided together.” Atxi gave the other side. “Even when the people are openly defiant of the Scripture, the ‘Wings’ don’t allow violence. There’s a fierce rivalry over everything else. Games. Resources. Food. Shelters. Even the women. Hans has been smoothing it over, trying to build some bridges, but he’s getting older too. We can all see it… James, there was an argument last week, over a trade. One man traded crops he’d grown for some help with a home repair. The JW’s would have the entire town out to help fix a damaged house, and they’d put out enough food to ‘feed the five thousand’ as Irsu would put it. No trade, no price, no questions asked.”
Silence.
“Atxi, I don’t understand this world.” He said finally. “I mean, I know why they do the things they do, but how do they get there? I know what they say, but… You should be allowed to hate things. Bad things.”
“Some do.” Atxi offered. “I asked Irsu about that once. He said that back in OS, the Witnesses practised a form of Exile from their congregations. They call it ‘disfellowshipping’. I was curious, so I asked a few other people about it. It’s crazy, but the meanest, hardest, last-resort thing they do is not talk to someone.”
James rubbed his eyes. “I’ll never fit in with them.”
She looked over. “Do you want to?”
“I honestly can’t say anymore. All the people I want to see again are either with them, or on this boat right now.” He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “How about you? How did your thing go?”
“Can’t believe I’m about to say this… But I’m not sure either.” Atxi actually groaned. “I spent decades rehearsing what I’d say when I finally got to confront the man who told me the gods wanted my heart. By the time I found him, he’d joined the Witnesses, and I don’t know how I feel about it.”
“Been my experience that the bad guys always land on their feet.” James commented.
“Not here.” Atxi said immediately. “James, you were the bad guy back then. My bad guy was a Holy Man. Now we’re in this world, and the bad guys can’t get away with anything. And if he’s… I mean, I’m told that Angels are the police force now. If he was just playing along, or trying to con people into giving him a position back… Maybe he can fool people like me, but he can’t fool the Angels, can he? He has to have genuinely changed.”
James regarded her. “You talk like one of the Bible-Bashers.”
“I do, don’t I?” Atxi was tearing up a little, though her face was calm. “I wanted so badly for him to be terrified. For him to be as confused and angry and hurt as I have been since I woke up and found out the whole thing was a lie. He was the one that taught it to me, so it made sense that…” She trailed off. “I wanted him to have trouble fitting in here.”
“Of course you did.” James said. “Smitty was a Vicar. He taught me a few lines of scripture. Enough that I had some idea of what this world might be. But you? You were taught a lie, but the man who taught you was smart, compelling, certain… Just like the people here. Would have been an interesting conversation to watch.”
Atxi nodded. “That’s it. When I came back, I felt completely unable to match my beliefs against those of the people here, because they were logical, reasonable, persuasive… But in my heart I was convinced; so I wanted him to be here, to argue the case for Huitzilopochtli. He convinced me, and if I wasn’t quick enough, or smart enough to find the right words to prove my gods were real, then maybe he could.”
“And then you find out he fell into this world easily.” James snorted. “You must be ready to strangle something.”
“You’d think so.” Atxi nodded. “But I’m not.” She looked at him. “Why aren’t I furious? When I found out about him, I was angry. When I saw him the first time, I was so mad I didn’t come back for decades. Why am I fine with it now?”
He thought about it for a long moment. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “What do you think?”
Atxi thought about it for a while. “Maybe… Maybe it’s because I’m in a larger group than I thought.”
“How so?”
“Back on the Island, with the ‘Undecided’? There’s plenty of people who follow the Old Gods, and didn’t want to change. But back among the Witnesses, there’s a much bigger number of people who followed all the gods I’ve never heard of, and did make the change. In fact, I heard Huitzilin talking about some of them. He was talking about a man named Paul, who stoned the early Christians to death, also in the Name of the Lord. Then he saw something that proved he was wrong, and he became an apostle so widely respected that he actually wrote about a third of the Greek Scripturesthat you grew up with.” She looked at him. “How does a person sincerely look at the evil they’ve done, and then decide they can just move on and be holy?”
“Maybe I’m not the one to ask.” James said quietly. “I can’t move on yet. When I started my campaign against people I hated, I was working towards a pardon from half a dozen different Kings and Bishops. I died without achieving any of it. But if I had lived long enough to finish my plan… I would have declared victory, taken my ransomed full pardon, and lived like a gentleman.”
“You could have that here, y’know.” Atxi said.
“Could I? In the old days, living ‘honestly’ meant keeping all your backstabbing a secret. I could do just fine in that arena. In this world, it means being legitimately good. I’m not sure I can do that.”
Long silence.
“Ask you a question?” James spoke finally. “What if he had been broken by this world?”
“What do you mean?”
“You wanted him to have trouble with this world, because in your opinion, he’s the reason you were so confused and scared and messed up when you arrived. If he had been like that? What would you have done?”
Atxi blinked. “Huh. I honestly hadn’t thought of that.”
“Could it be, that if your teacher was forced to admit that he was wrong and this world was right, then maybe you could finally declare victory, and do the same?”
Atxi said nothing to that for a while, before she turned to him, took his face between her hands, and gave him a deep, loving kiss.
He kissed her back happily for a long moment, before they broke for air. “What was that for?” He asked. “Tell me, so that I can do it again?”
Atxi smiled a bit. “James, what I’m feeling right now? When I saw all those people, listening to him talk about letting go of the Old Ways and Living the Real Life… I realized something that honestly never sank in before.”
“That it was a good thing? That our world being gone was perhaps the best thing that could happen?” James guessed. “Yeah. I had a similar realization a few days ago. Our story isn’t that unique, really.”
“Back on the Island, nobody’s interested in healing the old wounds, or letting go of the Old Ways. They’re on that Island because they refuse to change.” Atxi said. “If I’m honest, something changed for me this week. I suddenly stopped feeling so... lonely.” She held him tightly. “The only other time in this world when I haven’t felt alone was when I was on this boat. With you.”
James held her close. After a little while, he smiled at her. “Alright, it’s time you learned how to pilot this thing.”
“What?” Atxi almost laughed in disbelief. James was famously protective of his ship. To date, as far as she knew, he’d never let anyone else touch the controls; and now he was giving her lessons? It was oddly flattering, and a better expression of love than anything she had said.
The ship had engines, but James still used sails more than anything electric. Atxi had watched him steer and tack into the wind. He was more than relaxed about it, he was extraordinary. It was like he was part of the ocean, moving with it. It had been some years since Atxi had been taught to dance, but this had the same feeling. James was teaching her how to move along with a rhythm that she didn’t control; and do it so naturally that she didn’t think of it.
~oo00oo~
“Not bad.” James smiled at her after an hour or two. “You’ve got to feel it, in a smaller boat like this. Let the ocean show you how it’s going to move. Everything affects it. The wind, the temperature, the speed, the location… But when you’ve been on the water, and seen what each of those things can do… It all comes together in your head, and it’s like the ocean is moving with you. Like it’s part of you.”
His voice was melodic and full of affection. He’d been more generous when speaking of her ability than was honest. Atxi wasn’t even close to what James was telling her. It’s the sort of skill that takes a lifetime to master. Atxi smiled with endearment. “It must be nice.”
It’s home. He almost said it. “I’m always glad when you sail with me, Atxi. It’s just better with you.”
She felt warm inside, against the cold sea breeze. “I feel the same.” She bit her lip. “James, I plan to stay with the Witnesses. I’m not like them, and at this point I doubt I ever will be, but I like their world more than the Island. But I’ll still be here for you, every time you come into port, and every time we sail together. I promise. We’ll be together...”
“...for the rest of our lives?” James finished with biting understatement. But the mood stayed soft and warm, as she came over to lean back against him, looking out over the ocean by night.
“James?” Atxi said finally. “I’m running out of reasons to say no. You won’t lose me. Not even to God. I just wanted you to know that its taking more effort for me to keep saying ‘no’ than it might to say ‘yes’; because you’ve done more than anyone else to put my heart back together after false gods broke it. If I’m going to be your… anything, I need you to know where my soul is at.”
“Okay.” He put an arm around her, and she leaned into it, letting him hold her as they sailed away.
~oo00oo~
Walter was tired. So when there was a knock at his door, he didn’t feel like answering it. But he knew who it was.
David and Townsend had brought food. Walter barely bothered to greet them as they came in and set up. “We’re told you haven’t been to the market in a few days. Figured you’d be hungry.”
“Thank you.” Walter said automatically, not really caring. “I don’t like the market. Same with Mickey’s Animal Reserve. I go there, and parents point me out to the kids. I’m the handy reminder of what ‘Aging Out’ is.”
“Walter, we’ve been waiting for you to come the long way round on your own.” Townsend said crisply. “But by now it should be clear that you need a change of strategy. You haven’t made a decision. You’ve withdrawn completely from the rest of the world. So let’s have this out, once and for all.”
“You’re done being patient with me?” Walter quipped.
“We can afford to be patient. I don’t think you can.” Townsend said without pity, and ignored David’s sharp look. “David here was born in a world where every conversation is done with restraint and gentleness. You and I are more direct. If you want to pretend the rules haven’t changed, then I’m game to keep playing around; but I’ll last longer than you.”
Walter snorted. “I remember when we both found out we were dying, back in OS. You called it ‘Negotiating the ultimate deal’.”
“I remember.” Townsend agreed. “So, what deal are you working on? I lost track of you after you tried hosting that Tournament.”
Walter shook his head. “Nothing. I got nothing after that.”
“That Tournament was some time ago, Walter.” David pointed out. “Clearly, you haven’t starved, or been turned out of your home.”
“I know.” Walter said sullenly. “Trying to make a worthy profit wasn’t just because I wanted to support myself. Nobody goes hungry in this world. I had that much figured out fairly quickly.”
“Speaking of not going hungry…” David started portioning the food. “From my wife. She is very much of the opinion that hard conversations are improved with good food.”
Townsend produced a bottle. “And if not food, then perhaps a eighty year old Port?”
Walter squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “Well played, Townsend. Well played, indeed.”
“I’m not sure I follow. ‘Played’ how?” David asked, providing glasses for them all to drink from.
“Back in OS, a dusty bottle of fine liquor was a sign of luxury.” Townsend explained. “An antique piece of furniture, or a first edition novel, signed by the author? All signs of extravagance. But every home designed for the last century or two has had a cool room or a wine cellar. Everyone has a favorite book they first got new, or their first hand-crafted chair. We all get this brand of opulence now, with time.”
“A subtle reminder that if my efforts to become wealthy were because I had a taste for luxury, I came at it the wrong way.” Walter put in. “But it wasn’t that, either.”
David was carefully trying to keep the conversation moving, while at the same time, distracting them from getting caught on any exchange that would lead to an argument. “And on that note, dinner.”
The three men ate. David and Townsend prayed over their food. Walter did not.
“I remember the first time we met after you returned, I told you that this world had different priorities.” Townsend commented as the meal drew to a close. “I remember I said to you: ‘Back in the day, we had to establish our wealth first, because money opened the doors in OS’. In this world, it’s faith, and it’s time. Those things go hand in hand. Life without end.”
“I could have gotten that on my own.” Walter countered.
“Walter, you wouldn’t be the first powerful man to think the universe owed him better than anyone else-” David began.
“This isn’t ego, David. I was one of the privileged few with a legitimate shot at immortality, if I’d had the chance. I could have done it.”
“No. You couldn’t have.” Townsend said simply.
“Hang on a second. That intrigues me.” David held a hand up. “Why do you think that, Walter?”
Townsend answered before Walter could. “He poured his fortune into a company that was meant to preserve his body, like meat in a freezer. He was gambling that science would be able to conquer the death barrier and bring him back to life in some far-distant future; with his ready-made fortune waiting in storage.”
David actually let out a bark of laughter, though it only lasted an instant. “Oh, wow. I have to admit, that never occured to me.” He said to Townsend. “They spent a century training us up to talk to people of any background, from any century. This one never made the list.”
“It’s not a new idea, David.” Townsend said back. “I met a man last year who was a Middle Ages Alchemist. Thought he could find the Elixir of Life and turn Lead into Gold if he kept at it.”
“Hey! Hey! Am I invisible?!” Walter demanded. “I could have made it work, is my point.”
“No, Walter. You couldn’t.” David put in. “Death and Old Age were not illnesses that could be cured. They were a direct act of God, as punishment for what happened in Eden.”
“And that’s the God you want to Worship? A few hundred generations later, he still held the grudge?”
“You think it was spite? Walter, look around. Death is yesterday’s problem. We know that, because everyone in this room has been dead before. A temporary life in a place without God, for an eternal one in Paradise where people get the truth. You couldn’t have done that with your ‘immortality’ experiment.”
“YES, I COULD!” Walter nearly screamed.
The explosion came out of nowhere, and blew up so fast that it had clearly been building for a while.
“I had it all! I even had a plan to handle my own death!” Walter raged. “Why the hell couldn’t they have just let well enough alone? I didn’t need anyone else to make that choice for me! Not even God! He had no right to decide my fate! I choose my fate! I choose! Nobody else does! ME!”
Townsend sighed hard, looking sad and resigned in the face of a volcanic eruption. “I thought so.” He admitted. “You’re too practical for it to be procrastination all this time. Greed dies in a place that doesn’t care about wealth. Pride? That burns forever.”
David was leaning back in his chair, blindsided.
Walter got himself under control. “Never once in my life did I ask anyone for rescue. Even death was a temporary setback for me. I had a plan, Townsend. A way to cheat death, and live forever.”
“You can do that at any time, right now. Like everyone else. Is that the problem? Eternal life isn’t a prize if everyone else can do it too?”
“Not the point. I had it sorted. God took that away from me.” Walter hissed. “It’s just not fair. I worked really hard on my success, and it was all a zero sum when I woke up. This world isn’t fair!”
“Isn’t fair?!” Townsend repeated in open disbelief. “One of the Elders in my congregation was an Assyrian Slave before he came here. He died because his Master’s Daughter was bored one day, and asked the household slaves to fight to the death for her entertainment. If they said no, or were not eager enough, they’d all be killed. She was fourteen years old. And you’re angry at God for bringing you into a world where you have to change your own sheets?”
“No, this isn’t that.” Walter shook his head. “I know that this world is better for a lot of people, but none of those people are me. Everything I ever set out to do, I did it. Until I came here.” Walter said feeling himself start to seethe. “And I tried to play ball. I really did. But this world, so caught up in it’s own view on ‘perfect’, won’t so much as do business with me anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” Townsend scorned. “I spoke to Ward last week. The Co-Ops are still running, adding new members. You got that running. You bring people together and give them a place to share something they love to do with like-minded people. In this world, that’s everything!”
“That wasn’t success, that was a book club.” Walter snapped. “They were drops in a bucket. Does that really seem like a consolation prize?”
“Unbelievable.” Townsend almost laughed. “After decades, you still haven’t figured out that other people matter.” He shook his head. “I finally get it. You honestly don’t care who’s running the playground. Jehovah, Satan, or Men from Mars, just as long as you get to be the biggest kid in the sandbox.”
“I spent my entire life making my life as I wanted it. And I succeeded. Just because other people didn’t have it in them to-”
“To what?” David demanded. “What’s the end of that sentence? I’ve met people from all along the timeline, and they were all tormented by the same questions. Questions like: Why? Is there a reason? Why do we suffer? Do I matter? Since coming here, nobody has those worries anymore.”
“I never did.” Walter countered. “That’s no great miracle for me.”
Townsend blew past that. “And that’s not even counting food, and water, and shelter, and security, and leisure time. Billions of people couldn’t get so much as a cup of clean drinking water. And I don’t mean across history, I mean while you and I were personally dining at a Five Star Bistro, ordering champagne infused caviar.”
“None of that was my fault. I don’t judge people for where they were born, and I understand people who were sick and weak being grateful; but not me. I had all those things, and those questions never bothered me. I had everything I needed already!”
“And billions of people did not! Billions. Every. Day.” Townsend pressed. “Does that really mean nothing to you?”
“Those people were not my responsibility.”
“If God felt that way, we’d all be dead right now.” David put in.
“Not. Me.” Walter said harshly. “God is like an overbearing parent. He wants you to be happy, but only in the life he picks out for you. Anyone who doesn’t enjoy that life, it’s their problem!” He pointed at his face. “But not for long.”
“You can’t possibly believe that anymore.” David said in a hushed tone.
“I succeeded. God didn’t give me anything. I did it. I did!” Walter was raging now, the frustration boiling over after decades; hammering his fist on the table. “I never asked anyone for a handout. I was all I ever needed! Home, family, property, prosperity, and finally beating death? I did all that! Without God! I’m the only God I need!”
David blanched. “You really just said that, didn’t you?”
“Well why not? It was my will that determined if the hungry ate, or the homeless were cold, or if the unemployed had work. I decided! And I’m sick and tired of pretending that I didn’t!”
“Walter, if you say the word ‘I’ one more time, I’m going to start getting angry with you!” David finally snapped back.
The room was silent a long moment, while Walter got his breathing back to normal from the outburst, and the other two took a moment to let things cool. “Well.” Townsend said finally. “You’ve been holding that in a lot longer than you needed to.” He stood up and spoke in a voice so calm and reserved, Walter almost didn’t hear him. “Walter, your tax write-offs didn’t end homelessness, or mass starvation, or disease, or death. God did that. He’s already done that. There’s nobody left who’s starving, or afraid to catch a disease. Your crumbs didn’t save anyone; and you took way more than you gave.”
“My ‘crumbs’ were worth more than any of those people out there ever saw. They could have saved me just fine if God had let it play out.”
“No, they couldn’t, Walter.” Townsend sighed hard. “After you died? Your son contested the will, demanded he inherit the full fortune instead of whatever was left over. The Cryogenics people fought it in court, but your boy found out who the other Rich Popsicles were, and went looking for other jilted relatives. The Trial turned the other way once the lawyers were all on the other side, and the Cryogenics company went bust. All their ‘preserved’ people were shipped to the nearest morgue to be cremated. Your stab at immortality ended in a family courtroom drama that nobody noticed; and A-Day wiped out the winners not long after. If Jehovah God had treated you the way you just asked to be treated, you’d have never come back.”
Walter felt a little bubble of hot rage pop in his brain. “Get. Out.” He said with an anger so deep he could feel it quivering in his bones.
David was actually trying to show sympathy. “Walter, you’re not the first Returnee to find out that you’ve built a mansion on quicksand.”
“GET OUT!” Walter howled, enraged.
~oo00oo~
Townsend nearly dragged David out of the house, and they could hear things smashing behind them.
David didn’t say anything, but Townsend answered him anyway. “If we’d stayed a minute longer, You-Know-Who would have had to step in any second, and I honestly don’t know where he’d be after that.”
“I know.” David said quietly, head down. “Nothing we’ve said, in all this time, has made a difference.”
“David, living in Paradise for decades hasn’t made a difference. Our words are worth nothing compared to what he’s seeing. But no matter what he sees, he doesn’t observe. That’s not on anyone but him.”
The two of them walked for a while, letting the moment cool.
“What would it have been like?” David asked philosophically. “If they could have eliminated death and old age back in OS?”
Townsend shook his head. “It would have been a disaster. I was a wealthy man in a place where poor people had to join the military get an education. Or turn to crime to buy food. Or go to prison to see a doctor. Trust me when I say, if they were able to turn eternal life into a marketable product back then…” He looked up at the sky. “Having more Time is the least of what makes this world a Paradise.”
~oo00oo~
After spending a perfect night riding the waves, James had dropped Atxi back at civilisation. She wasn’t returning to The Undecided. And in truth, James didn’t want to go back either. He promised Atxi that he would return to join her back on land soon enough, but he had a stop to make first.
With the Nicholas to himself, James went to the cargo hold, and pulled out his Treasure Chest. Mallory had been able to track down a few more pieces over the years. He only had a few of the items. Most of the others were gone, lost to history, scrapped and melted down.
Meeting Smitty had changed the rules. The treasures he had hunted and guarded so jealously were worthless to him now.
There was only one place left to take them.
~oo00oo~
Spyglass Cove hadn’t changed much since he’d last been there. He arrived as the sun set.
Eileen was walking the beach as he came ashore. She took one look at him, then to his ship; and turned up the beach to shout for her son. James noted that she hadn’t changed since he’d seen her last; but her eyes said that she was tired of being patient. “Take us with you.” She said quietly. “You can drop us anywhere.”
“I will.” James promised, not even surprised at the request. “Where is he?”
“Back at the house, where he always is.”
James made his way deeper inland, as Lancewood’s son; now a young-looking man with that same eternal gaze, made his way towards his mother, carrying a satchel.
~oo00oo~
“Donnie looks like you.” James said to his old foe by way of greeting.
Lancewood opened his eyes. His hair was ghost-white, skin grown slack. He was rocking in a hammock-chair, with a fire-pit smoldering low flames beside him. “He looks like I used to.” The old man said, unconcerned. “They’ve been waiting for you. My wife and son declared ages ago. And she’s fed up with trying to reason with me.”
“Nobody reasons with old sailors.” James admitted dryly. “But most of the people I know have given up too.” He tossed his satchel down next to Lancewood. “An apology, for taking that list, last time I was here.”
Lancewood reached out and opened the bag. He saw the Scepter, the Crown… And burst out laughing. A sick, empty laugh when nothing was funny.
James sat down next to him roughly, suddenly exhausted by his whole life.
“I’m glad you came.” Lancewood coughed a little. “You’ll take them with you, of course.”
“I will.” James promised quietly. “And you?”
Lancewood shook his head. “I may not make the voyage. This is my place now, and if my kid doesn’t have to watch, that’s fine with me.” He rocked in the chair a moment. “They’re young again, James.”
“I saw.”
“Y’know, I’ve spoken to some people. At least once a year, someone comes by.” Lancewood said. “I’ll never watch my wife grow old. I watched my father and mother turn grey and lose each other, a piece at a time. To me, my wife is forever young.” He looked over. “You don’t have kids, do you?”
“No.” James admitted. “Not on the cards.”
“Not for our kind of life.” Lancewood agreed, and produced a bottle. “My last one. Only a little left. Care to have a drink with me, James? If memory serves, you never tasted the last one I poured you.”
“Why not?” James almost laughed.
“I’ll say this for the New World.” Lancewood commented. “It leaves you with your dignity.”
“Mm.” James grunted, not wanting to say anything.
“I watched my old man go from old age. His teeth had rotted, hair was gone, lost control of his… functions. He could barely hold a tea cup by the end.” He gestured at himself. “I have none of those things. I can feel it coming, James. But I don’t feel shamed by the process.”
James couldn’t help himself. “You still think we made the right choice?”
“I don’t regret it. Last time we spoke, we both knew a long life and a comfortable old age was more than people like us ever hoped for. A lifetime on a beach with my family? Paradise. I asked for much less, but that lifetime is what I got. I made my deal with the universe a long time ago. My boy lives in a world that offered him a different deal, and I couldn’t be happier that he took it. For people like us, children was our stab at immortality. I remember my father once said to me that as long as I was around, he’d never really be gone. My kid will live forever. Old age scared me more than death ever would. But after a lifetime of refusing, God’s giving me my dignity, right to the end.” He waved at the sky. “I’ll say this for Him: He’s a Class Act.”
James took a deep pull off the rum. “To going out with Dignity.”
“Here here!” Lancewood agreed, and took the bottle back to drink the last of it. “Thank you for coming back, James. It’s nice to see a familiar face.”
The familiarity of it sent a thrill of horror through James, for reasons he couldn’t really define. “I should go.”
Lancewood didn’t try to stop him.
James walked up the beach, back towards the Nicholas in a daze… Until he broke down sobbing for the first time since his parents died.
Atxi. Get back to Atxi. He told himself. You wasted enough time.
No comments:
Post a Comment